My senior year at primary was not the best but at the same time it could have gone worse. My school was a decent-to-small size, I was in one of three year 7 classes of around 20 students. During the year my teacher Mrs S bugged us about which high school we were going to attend so the school could forward our school records. My mum was split between two high schools, both which she had heard from somewhere produced OP1's aka all what you need to get into medicine. I had interviews at both schools but alas, I was rejected by the school my best friends were accepted into. Most of my year were going to the local high school or private school.
On my last day of primary school - I swear I did bawl my eyes out, I swear I did not - It suddenly "startled" me when the principal said (yes, word for word) "...our talented students, the largest year we've had, are leaving us to go to 16 different high schools.". It was then that I got shivers down my back, knowing that I stood alone in going to that school.
My first day in high school came around and it was then that I felt truly alone. I sat by myself at the canteen seating during lunches and tried not to hear older students yelling each others names across the other side of the building, trying not to watch friends hug and laugh at each others' jokes. But I couldn't take it any more. I cried.
Thankfully, as I pushed through the tough times, I met wonderful people and a best friend who introduced me to more wonderful people. Eventually I met a lot more people and I was associated with the more "popular" crowd. As I'm Asian and my primary school was predominately of European descent and high school was predominately Asian, I felt way more comfortable at making friends and fitting in with the other students. I felt as through they understood more than ever that where ever we came from all made us have different experiences and I did not feel alienated when I spoke of my experiences. I did not feel awkward saying that one of my favourite dishes is Drunken Chicken and I did not get the stares or pulled facial expressions after. I started to love going to school in my uniform white blouse with tartan trim.
Unfortunately around a year and a half later my mum had "had it" with the school. She had visited the school five times and was "appalled" at how students presented themselves and was absolutely "disgraced" at what the school hit headlines with since I was accepted into the school. Honestly it wasn't bad. Only a couple of handfuls of students from each year (basically all female) wore their uniform incorrectly but they didn't travel in packs so it looked a lot more. The "general" look for them had girls cutting skirts above the knee, tonnes of make-up caked on, hair looking like they just woke up, tie either missing or half on and buttons undone to the point where everyone could see cleavage in quite a few ladies. The headlines also included a girl getting into a cat fight with a student from another high school, paint ball being held on school grounds during weekends as well as the usual smoking/drug accusations.
I was given a choice. Stay at the school but get into the Senior Honours Program or leave for another school. Ultimately I did not get to choose. But I did get accepted into the Honours Program, as did my best friend.
The day came too fast when I waved goodbye to my tartan trim and hello to navy blue and cerise. To this day, I still don't really get what colour cerise is. Not even kidding. The day I put on those colours was the day I learnt the hard way that you can't trust everyone. I had a "friend" I knew from year 8 who had moved to this school and from when she had heard I was coming to "her" school to when I graduated high school had spread lies about me. The rest of my first year that this school was the worst.
The next year was better and I was involved with a medium group of (harshly speaking) a-bit-of-every-ones. That was the year I tried my absolute hardest in all my classes and I began to see pretty decent grades for a school topping academia charts in the state. Unfortunately, I was being pushed by my parents to achieve higher and they started harshly comparing my grades against my sister who had just been accepted into the advance stream of her classes. I tried keeping my grades in grade 11 but towards the end of that year, the cracks began to show. Looking back, I guess I developed a bit of a dual personality. On one side I felt really deflated, not in the mood for anything (I guess rather depressed) while during most lunches I would absolutely flat out laugh and enjoy my time with my group. During this period life wasn't the best at home and I rarely felt that I was listened to. My parents were always working and my sister was a rude-biatch. Often I would want to get something off my chest but my parents would be too absorbed in whatever they're doing and my sister would either say "Who are you talking to?" or "They're not listening" followed shortly by "I'm not listening".
Upon graduating high school and starting a university course I was forced into doing, I found an online gaming community in which I met various walks of life who related to me on many levels. They made me feel very welcome and I am forever thankful I met them at that specific time in my life. I cannot imagine what would have happened if I hadn't found this group of people. I ended up joining a "house" and one of the leaders has a liking for Scottish collections and has turned our hideout inside out with tartans.
I thank each of you for putting up with me for the past nearly two years and for my sometimes long messages and good natured banter.
Ryu, Tera, Beer, Bulldog, Fire, Silverclaw, Justinian & Summer
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| Image not mine |
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